The 3 Ultimate Signs of Maturity

Those of you who know me will know that I’m really just a big kid, and I hope I never lose that.

But life continues to teach me lessons, so even though I still play video games, love superhero movies and laugh at the silliest stuff, I have to recognise that I’ve grown.

And now, in my early 50’s (I mean, when the f*&k did that happen?) I think there are some things that help me out in some monumental ways that I would never have figured out earlier in my life.

Here then, are my 3 ultimate signs of maturity.

1. You own your grief

With both of my parents dying in the last four months, grief has been a big part of my experience recently. It’s been rough and unpredictable and uncontrollable, like riding a rough sea with no clue when you’ll hit land.

My grieving for them will continue for some time of course, but as someone with a chronic illness for some 15+ years, I’ve also had to deal with the grief I carry for the health I always thought I’d have.

I used to go to the gym 5 times a week and loved it, even had the beginnings of a little six-pack. And now I haven’t been able to exercise for years and still miss it dearly.

Grief then, is something we all have to deal with in a few different ways:

• Grief for the career you always thought you’d have
• Grief for the family you always wanted to have
• Grief for the experience of life you always hoped for
• Grief for the picture of who you’d become
• and so much more…

And as heavy as grief is, as much as it impacts your day-to-day experience or just bubbles up out of nowhere, the worst possible thing to do is try to bury it or run from it.

You can’t run or hide from grief; it’s part of you and it knows you intimately. The tough part is accepting the grief you carry, because it feels like that’s not productive or that it’s somehow stopping you from moving on.

But grief is how you stay whole instead of carving out pieces of yourself because they hurt too much.